i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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