he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
