Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I've blown a few things in my day
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just found puke in my bra..
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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