I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
