i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
