I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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