My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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