just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
