bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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