Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
