hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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