at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
