at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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