He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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