are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
