Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
