I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Randomize
