ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i think i scared a bird with my dick
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
