i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
