When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
