I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
