quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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