How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
