Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
