I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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