Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
