I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
That accounts for only three of the penises
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
