he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
