it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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