so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
