I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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