I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
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