She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
