Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
