I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
my being single is dangerous.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
