what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
