What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
she was so not down for the gang bang
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
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