There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
