Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize