I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
