No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
