I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
