Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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