The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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