I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
