Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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