his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
