saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
