I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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