I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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