In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
