so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
