forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
