he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
