This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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