Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize