I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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